In all my years as a mother, I was never prepared for that moment when I found out my toddler wouldn’t eat the food I put in front of them. It seemed that he would eat anything, from pureed mixtures to a few bites of food he swiped off my plate. His newly onset toddler’s food strike has created a lot of confusion in our daily meals–and caused me a great deal of frustration.
Things that used to be his favorites now end up on the ground. He also loves to shake his head “no,” when I force him to eat. I am a mom who feels defeated when my child refuses to eat. Sometimes, I wonder if it is my cooking that is the problem. But I’ve come to realize that the toddler food strikes are just another rung in the ladder of parenting, and I need to learn how to climb.
Jill Castle is a pediatric dietitian, founder of The Nourished Children(r), and advisor to Brainiac Foods. We spoke about how to deal with a food strike for toddlers. What she said:
It’s normal for toddlers to reject foods that they used to like or want the same food over and over again. It’s all about their developmental stage. The toddler wants to be independent and separate from the caregiver, but they’re not quite ready. “This is why toddlers are always on the move, and want to control their bodies, including what they put in them.”
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“Toddlers also learn about the world, which is both interesting and distracting.” Food strikes and picky eaters are not uncommon in children aged 2 to 6 years old. Parents may think that they have done something wrong.
All is not lost if you, like me, find yourself in the same situation of wondering what you did wrong and trying decide what to do when you toddler refuses food. Here are some tips to help us get through the nightmare of a toddler’s food strike.
How to handle a toddler’s food strike
- Practice patience
Try being patient if you’re not sure what to do when your child refuses to eat. When your toddler refuses food and scatters it all over, getting agitated is the best thing you can do. In the last few weeks, I’ve seen it happen too often with my son. The biggest lesson that I’m learning is to have patience in these times. In the chaos, a few deep breaths help me to calm down.
I control my temper so I don’t show my angry emotions towards my son. I let him eat what is in front of him. When he signals that he’s done eating, I take away the food, tell him “all gone”, and remove him from his kitchen. Once he realizes he’s still hungry, he might return later for more.
- Do not hover over your child
Have you ever heard of the term “helicopter parent”? When it comes to the eating habits of my child, I am a helicopter parent. I tend to hover around him and do everything I can to get him to eat. Recently, I decided to try a new approach.
I place my son’s food on his highchair. When I finish eating, I get up to clean the kitchen. I do things like load the dishwasher and put up leftovers for my spouse. When I don’t pressurize my toddler, I notice that he eats a lot more than when I do. I’ve found that letting go of the reins and giving him some independence has worked more often than not.
- Multiple eating options
Castle said that the best thing parents could do is make sure to provide ‘opportunities to eat’. In general, three meals per day and two or three snacks are recommended. The ‘offerings of food’ are balanced, nourishing meals and snacks that can be offered every three to four hours. These meals and snacks can be offered by parents and children.
The key is to give your child several chances to eat healthy foods during the day. Allow the child to decide how much and if they want to eat. Parents can choose extra-nutritious kid-friendly foods. “Making’ a child to eat can lead to picky eating or food strikes.
- Do not make a fuss when your child does not eat
When my child indicates that he’s finished eating, as I mentioned above, I say “all done” and remove him to the kitchen. Castle suggests that you don’t make a fuss when your toddler doesn’t eat. This could worsen this food strike.
Focusing on how much and what a child consumes can lead to a feeling of pressure. Parents who nag, cajole or push their children to eat can make them resentful. Instead, sticking to a regular schedule of meals and snack times and not “trying” to get a kid to eat will usually result in a quicker resolution than creating opposition during mealtimes.”
- When to seek medical care
Even though refusing to eat is a common stage of toddlerhood, it may require medical attention at times. You may be concerned with your toddler’s eating behavior and notice unusual or worrying behaviors. (For example, if your child is losing weight.) This could indicate that your child has a more serious problem than just a toddler food strike. You can find out from your child’s physician if your toddler is not eating due to any underlying problems.
There is always a solution to the toddler food strikes, no matter how difficult they may be. When your toddler refuses food, keep in mind that there are many other phases of parenting to come. You’ve got all of them.